Found a beautiful new candy for my valentine's day. I think you'll all enjoy them. They're called Bittersweets. Check them out. Most humourous, yet, sadly enough, a bit true.

What exactly is a rat-bastard? I use the phrase often enough myself, and yet I'm unclear on it's meaning. Does it mean that your father was a rat and you don't know exactly who that is? Or does it mean that You are the rat and you don't know who your homosapien father is? It's quite the vague insult rat-bastard is.

Happy Birthday Jenny!!!!!!

Today is my best friend Jenny's birthday. (Yes, I can have two best friends, just as I can have many favourites.) She is one of the most amazing people I think I've ever had the previlige to know. Honestly, I don't think I could live with her. She deserves the best in life. May the rest of your years be as marvelous as you've made these past eleven. I love ya, Jen.

You know who I enjoy? Well, more people than I'd care to write but Michael Jackson is enjoyable. "The Way you make me feel" with its drum machine and synth is a beauty of a song. I love that damn tune. Some people really did have there synthesizers under control and this song would be a prime example of that except the end part where they sort of go into a Ghostbuster's-esque rant. Anyway, I do enjoy the 60's to early 90's Michael. I'm not so much about the Scream-era Michael or this new Butterflies/Rock My World Michael. I didn't like that damn Free Willy Michael either. What the fuck is that shite? Um... It's a whale. Quit singing about it, loser. But formally cool so he gets a bit of the respect.

Sometimes Prince sounds like a screaming child in a fit of toy tantrums. Just a thought.

"I close my eyes and all the world drops dead."
If only it were that easy.

YES!!!! Finally got the really insightful breakthrough I've been looking for with "Mad Girl's Love Song". Only took me two week of stewing over the thing. I guess it was the fact that the stupid essay was due on Friday and I still wasn't solid in my thesis.

By the way, I don't enjoy any of my "favourite" songs more than any of my other "favourite" songs but I do like them more than the other songs I have heard by that artist. So, while it is not "favoured above all others" it is favoured above MOST others. When an artist has put out over 10 albums spanning a period of over a decade it is a little difficult to pick a song that is "favoured above all others" but it is fairly easy to pick a group which is favoured above most. That is how I view the term "favourite".

Do you know what the best thing is? When you wake up in the morning too lazy to put on make-up but then later something makes you cry. That is the best thing. Fuck bats carrying bar of wax. The best thing is having a terrible cry and not having to clean the mascara gunk off your face. After you've had a good cry, cleaning the racoon eyes isn't that bad but after a terrible cry all you want to do is die, not go to the washroom to clean your face. Good hygeine says you have to clean your face before sleeping, that means before eternal sleep too.

JuSt A sMaLl VeNt AbOuT hOw I hAtE tHiS!!!!!!

What the hell is the point of that? I'm not a really frequent chat person because I hate short forms but I also hate ThAt!!!! Grrrr..... It is unaesthetic so if that is the purpose then the people who do that are sorely mistaken. It's about as beautiful as roadkill. Not even that beautiful, because even roadkill has it's moments. Perhaps these twisted individuals are trying to show off by the fact that they know how the use the SHIFT key. Well, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You're aren't a total idiot. I know my friends who use view this page may be offended by this because I know some of them do this foriegn half-capital/half-lower case writing. Let me know why you insist on doing so. Doesn't mean I will like it or even read anything that is written in that nonsense but I am curious as to your motives in that way that people are curious about roadkill. It is facinating but revolting at the same time.

Speaking of roadkill made me think of squirrels which made me think of this site which has been making the rounds in that disease infested land of Forwards. This one does have some merit though. One clue: turn it up really loud. If you've seen it already my apologies. I had a better link title but that would give away the best part so it's titled

Weeeeeeeee....

Okay, poetry class. I have this assignment due friday on this poem that I really enjoy called "Mad Girl's Love Song" by Sylvia Plath. I just thought I'd post the poem because I really do enjoy it.

Mad Girl's Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

- Sylvia Plath

I'm back in K/W. Okay, so my sister and her best bud Byram gave me a ride back. (She's seventeen by the way. I'm pathetic.) We were freakin' hungry when we got here because we hadn't eaten since like 11:30 and it was 6:30. We decided that the dining room would be the best place to go for grub. In the dining hall was Justin Clarke who had an interesting proposition for me. Our mutual friend Evan Moore and Evan's father Dave are having an art show and Justin asked me if I would like a ride home this weekend. Yes, my children, you heard correctly. I am coming home for the second weekend in a row. Jenny, Cat and Wade, I am yours. Saturday night is yours, unless my parent decide to do something for my little bro's birthday on the 29th. I think Friday I'm just going to chill at home but Saturday let's go....I don't know, it's up to you. Just try not to have it involve much money because I'm saving for Reading Week, ok?

An old favourite is up and running. (Thanks Swift for bringing it to my attention.) It's most humourous and sort of the reason why I ended up bothering with the internet at all. If it hadn't been for this site's tests, and my enjoyment of afformentioned tests, I might still be a near-Luddite. So, visit this site in appreciation of this site, or maybe so you can spit at the site that was the inspiration for such vile stuff as this page is.

Take the Which Radiohead Album are you? Quiz.
Nice. I definately enjoy that.

Take the How Old Are You? Quiz.

Well, no wonder! All the other answers were about prune juice and bullshit. Why the hell would I say that I had a social security check. I don't think I know anyone who will get anything but punkass kid. If you get something else let me know, though I doubt you will.

Heading back to the old K/W today. To my friends who were at Kori's on Saturday, I'm an asshole. I was upset and didn't really feel like partying. I'm truly sorry. I'll be down for reading week and I'll see you all then. I really do suck. My humblest apologies for my own lack of good friendship. Fuck, I'm an ass. Please call me, e-mail me, message me or write me and tell me how much I suck. I deserve it.

I think I've figured out why I do on-line Personality tests. It's not to see which Internal Organ I am, but to fill up space on this damn blog page. It's tiring to contantly think up stupid stuff to post on here. Plus, it gives your visitors something to do.

A guy from home who is going to Laurier, Justin Clarke, called me crazy today because of this page. I think I'm rational and level-headed but Justin, who is the designer of the Evan and Dave Moore websites, seems to believe that I am not so. Thank you Justin for your input on my sanity. Always appreciated. :)

Why, Hello. My name is Sir Woodrow Westingham and I am at your service. The fair lady Alysia informed me of this "webpage" and asked me if would like to share "blogging" duties with her. She asked if I would like to share some of my quests with you, good knights and lovely maidens. Of course I accepted, for the fair maiden was feeling a might burdened by the constant "blogging". There is a slight misunderstanding, though. Lady Alysia knew I would like nothing more to engage you all with tales of dragon, dark wizard and, of course, damsels in distress. The fair lady could not have know that, though I am a valent knight, I have never encountered any of those things. So, I'm off. Off on a quest. What kind of quest? I don't quite know but it will be filled with jousts, sword fights and many empire waistlines usually in various shade of green. When I return, if I return, my tales will be plentiful and we shall sit by the glowing screen and cast magical images into the darkness.
Till my return,

Sir Woodrow Westingham

So, you wanna see some art SARNIA style. This is my friend from way back, Evan Moore and his father Dave Moore. They are two of the most fantastic artists I've ever seen. I've known Evan since kindergarten and he really has some mad skills. Check this shit out.

BEST LIST 2002

Created by Nicole, Cheryl, Tim and The Diddler

Best God................................... GOD
Best Actor................................. Wax Tom Cruise
Best Ball....................................Ball of wax
Best Vampire............................. Dracula
Best Name for a Parrot....tie..... ...Polly & Waxy
Best Friend................................ Wax Cheryl
Best Overall Everything............ ...Bat carrying bar of wax
Best History Teacher................... Wax Alma
Best Tim.................................... Tuba Tim
Best Person............................... Nicole (wax)
Best Street................................ Wax St.
Best Bodily Secretion............... ..Ear wax
Best Monster...... tie .................. Dracula & Waxface
Best Candy............................... Wax lips
Best thing bees make.... tie......... honey & wax
Best Movie................................ Moulin Rouge
Best Song................................. "All you need is Wax"
Best statue............................... Wax Dracula
Best City..................tie............. Waxville & Transylvania
Best Class................................ The History of Wax
Best Composer.......................... Wax Vaughan Williams
Best Waxy Face........................ Michael Jackson
Best Activity............................. "moviewatching"
Best Hair Removal...................... Waxing
Best Website............................. www.usesofwax.com
Best Letter............3-way tie........ W-A-X
Best Club.................................. love square
Best Pub................................... Paddys
Best Ear Wax............................ Karin's
Best "m" of mmm ...................... Karin
Best Colour............................... colour of wax
Best Palendrome....................... livenotonevil
Best "Product"........................... wax
Best Smell................................. bat scented wax
Best Candle............................... one made of wax
Best Shoes............tie............... wax sneakers or bat skinned wax
Best Crayons............................ wax crayons
Best Flying Animal...................... bat
Best Sport....................tie......... baseball & dip the bat in wax
Best Toy.................................... wax bat
Best Latino................................ wax Alysia
Best Superhero.......................... Wax Batman
Best Instrument.......................... wax organ
Best Profession.......................... Hair Waxer
Best Floss................................. wax floss
Best Book.................................. "The Creation of Wax"
Best Overall Advice.................. "Wax on, wax off"

Best List 2002 was provided by:
The Wax Association of America
and
The Count and Countess Dracula Foundation

How much does a man live, after all?
Does he live a thousand days, or one only?
For a week, or for several centuries?
How long does a man spend dying?
What does it mean to say "for ever"?

- Pablo Neruda

Forever always seems
to be around when things begin
but forever never seems
to be around when things end.

- Ben Harper

Just thinking about forevers today.

Which Internal Organ are you? Find out at willaston's lounge!



I like being the heart. I make tall people die. Thought I was going to say something nice didn't you. "But you don't know me."

Mia Vita

I was going to tell you guys about my life, in italian but the translator I was going to use keeps fuckin' up. It doesn't even recognize the word "universita" which as any dumb-ass knows means university. I kept putting in the right thing but what was the use in putting in the right thing, if when you guys translate it, it's not right in English. And I am not going to post wrong Italian just so the Translator will read like I want it too. What if someone who spoke fluent Italian stumbled upon my site, saw my half intelligable brand of Italian and ... I don't know... got angry or something? I'd feel terribly awfully about making him feel...something not good? Anyway, I've showed my bitterness towards the translator but I didn't give a link *cough* crappy translator *cough*, so that's not totally bitterness right? *bats eyelashes like southern debutant*

I failed.
Isanity test

My good friend ShannoShanno pointed out to me that my posts have a flavour of bitterness. Let me rectify that feeling.

I am HAPPY.

For the first time since I came to this university ( I was going to write god-forsaken place but that would be bitter and I'm not) I am truly happy. My life is going as I hoped. I will always bitch about my surroundings because I have a bit of trouble with accepting things that aren't exactly how I'd like them. Anyway, don't think because I'm bitching about the little things that I am not fully satisfied with my life right now because I am.

While we're on the topic of satisfaction, I'm coming home this weekend. My good friends Karen and Matt are coming home and I'm due for some home time so I thought this weekend would be good. I don't have any plans yet so if you are home, or going home, and would like the company of myself let me know in my comments box (That's the line after each blog. Just clarifying.) I'm open to suggestions. I also don't feel like planning so if people approach me, less work for me. :) Anyway, catch ya on the flip side. Word.

Who's Pissed off? ME!!

I've been checking anidifranco.org for the past few months in hopes that whoever bought it would put that beautiful thing back up. I decide to check on it today and was angered. Righteous Babe Records bought it. Now, for those of you who don't know RBR is Ani's record label that she created. I can hear it now, "Alysia, she bought the rights to her own name. What the hell are you angry about that for?" Anidifranco.org was one of the finest fan sites I've ever seen. It was easy to navigate with beautiful graphics and wonderful content. Everyone's favourite folk singer should have been happy to see her fans visiting the beauty of a site. Instead you get directed to the Righteous Babe site (see Official Ani in the side bar). The official Ani site is seriously lacking when compared to the old anidifranco.org site. Now, yes, ani should be able to see the site as she wanted it but now there is no site. I don't mean to bag on the RBR site but it doesn't have as much stuff. I'm not talking about just pictures or lyrics, though Mr. Difranco's official site has neither (except for the lyrics to the new album). The old page had aniisms, things she said in concert or interviews. It also had a place where you could post your favourite lyrics. It had ... I can't even remember anymore but it had more apple, less cock. Um ... I mean more good stuff, less crappy stuff (not saying that cock is crappy stuff but ... it's an inside joke, sorry to subject you to that.) Anyway, I wish that they would have put back up the old site but wishes don't come true so I'll have to sit in my rank pool of unhappiness in the shadow of RBR's stupidity.

I change the look of my page (in subtle ways) more than I actually comment in it.

Why I couldn't be a writer, even if I was good enough.
Some days you just don't feel like writing.

Self reflection is the devil. I think I've come to that conclusion. I gotta stop thinking about myself and how things relate to ME. Check out my quote of the ? for my new(est) credo (if you could call it a set or system of beliefs or principals which is what a credo is.) It just makes me feel inadequate always telling myself that I have to change everything about myself and my surroundings. I don't want to feel like everything I do is unworthy. I just need to lose myself again.

um...feel free to leave comments...I put that up so you wonderful people who hide in the shadows of HTML may place your dark, mysterious, HTML-not-knowing thought for all to see. Say whatever you like about what I wrote or maybe even something totally unrelated to my posts. The thoughts of those without the light are foriegn and exciting to me. Oh yeah, and if you have a page go ahead an muck up my shit all you'd like. If you don't know me, write away anyway.

I freakin' love GRAPEFRUIT juice. I can't get enough of the shit. It's so sour, yet so sweet. I wish I had some right NOW but I drank the last of it. I used to say that I wished cigarettes would grow as you smoke them instead of shrink and now I wish that Grapefruit juice was like that. The more I drink, the more I get. Mmm....sweet,sweet grapefruit juice...I wish I could have your children so I may raise them to be as wonderful as you. ...mmm

"Isn't this real life?"

I tolerate a lot more from the people on the Internet than I ever would in real life. If I heard someone refering to women on the street the way some of these men do on the internet, I would DEFINATELY say something. Some jokes that I would not laugh at in real life suddenly become okay because they are on a satirical web site. Just because something is a farce doesn't necessarily mean that what was said was the best thing. I would have been one of the girls offended by Andy Kaufman's Women's Wrestling routine, and yet, I let these men on the internet get away with a lot of shit like that. Perhaps because I can't see them smiling at there own jokes, or see the smug looks on their faces, I let it SLIDE on BY. Perhaps it is because I can't engage in an argument so I gotta take it up the ass. I just wish there were more women on the internet. Of course, women would use it for different purposes and maybe they wouldn't notice some of the more, shall we say, male-biased sites. I don't hang out with any women who SERIOUSLY use the internet. Most of my girlfriends use it for ICQ and email. The one friend I tried to encourage to get a webpage failed miserably. (Sorry cat but you couldn't even remember your log-in. It obviously wasn't that important.)

I digress. I put up with shit on the internet that I would scream about if I heard it in a classroom or a coffee shop. (Not bars. Bars turn men into neanderthals.) Wait I act like the men on the Internet are DRUNKS!!! They can get away with so much more because I hope that under it all they don't mean it. I hope that it was just a stupid joke that they'd take back in the morning if they could but it's been said so they can't. Whatever my reasons I have but one hope. I hope that I don't stop saying things in REAL life just because the Internet desensitizes me to what I should or shouldn't speak out against. I should get my turn to make someone mad, too.

So cold

Today, I felt I was home. Images rippled across the surface of the water as birds sang tunefully next to me. I closed my eyes and saw the sun through my eyelids. Yet, I knew I wasn’t home. The sun gave no warmth, so I opened my eyes. The shapes across the rippling lake were just my classmates reflected on the top of a piano, which had begun to warp with age. The tune of the birds became recognizable as Beethoven, the music for which the soprano next to me was holding in her hands. My eyelids deceived me. It was only the stage lights. For one fleeting moment, I felt I belonged. Then the cold opened my eyes.

Suicide's Note

The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.

-Langston Hughes

No, Mama, No

Oh, no sooner do I achieve bliss then I come crashing down. I never thought it would happen but it did. It's been years and nothing. Only happiness. I thought I could never find one that would displease me. I did though. I found an Ani difranco song I don't like. Oh God, I feel like crying. I was looking on everyone's favourite Napster-clone, Morpheus, for songs from the new albums, Revelling and Reckoning, to see whether it was the next Ani CD(s) I wanted to buy. The first song on the first CD, Revelling, is called "Ain't that the way" and I had never heard it. I had, in fact, heard some songs from the Reckoning CD and most thoroughly enjoyed said songs. I was a preteen girl on the day of the new N*Sync release. I was ready to love, love, love. Unfortunately, for myself and Ms/Mr. Difranco (It's really quite a shame that I'm the only Ani fiend who reads my page because that was a nice reference to the tune "In or Out"), I hated the song. It was musically lacking. Normally, even if the music sucks, you can decipher the words. This song was choppy. I don't know the best way to discribe it except that I didn't like it so much that I didn't listen to the whole song. I read the lyrics on Ani site and they weren't awful but they weren't as good as they formally were. Anyway, it upsets me that I hated that song. I like to think of my artists as flawless (musically that is, if they weren't flawed they'd be to distant) but I just caught a glimps of something nasty.

Woohoo! Check my term marks! **B** in Italian!!!! I thought I failed that mother like it ain't no thing!!!!! Life is Beautiful! So this is what happiness feels like. I forgot. Ahhhh......... :-Þ·:.

Okay my friend cheryl duvall sent me this most excellent piece of work. For my male friends out in the cold today it's from The Man Show. Let's just call it
Beer stand

So long... and thanks for all the fish

You know when you feel like life is good. That's all. Just life being good for a while. It's been sometime since I've felt like life is good. I gotta say I'm glad I know you. All of you. Even though music didn't work out, I wouldn't have traded it for English no matter how much money I'd save. You guys and my beautiful friends from back home helped me survive the roommate from Barbieland, teachers who hated my butt-ass and my own feeling of inadequacy. Thanks. For it all. Yes, Ani quote "I owe my life to the people that I love."

Okay guys check this out. Most enjoyable. More posts will come by thursday. Sorry. Room change and everything.
Hairy Tongue

It seems as though every sad song I've ever heard is floating through my head today. I can't shift this melancholy. I bombard it with happy thoughts of lovely times and fanciful people but I can't see to bust up the hold it has on me. I do things that make me happy, like sketching and singing, but all I can sketch is things which cause me to want to cry and sing about how I'm funking not good enough. I think I might wish I was a junkie because the fix is so easy. All you need is the junk not a billion other things that are not as simple as junk. You know when junk is looking good you're in a bad place. Maybe I should take up smoking again. Not as hard to get my hands on as junk and more socially acceptable. I don't think my teeth would enjoy it too much though. I don't really like piss teeth. No offense if you smoke. You may like piss teeth. :) It's the singer in me that won't let me smoke. My voice has no objection to junk though.

I'm changing rooms tomorrow (Yay!!) so my next post might be a while. I got a beautiful new single room. Much excitement. I will call you, if I like you, with my new phone number. Much love ya'll! See ya!

University...ugh...

English is going well. Couldn't get into Women Studies. That kinda sucks but I'm on the waiting list so we'll see. Also, I'm switching rooms tomorrow so if my new roommate doesn't have the internet it may be a while before I post again.

I'm almost gone. In a little over 24 hours I'm leaving my home and going back. Let's just say I'm going to be leaving town a lot more this semester than I did last. I'm not to happy about going back so I'm just going to leave you with a portion of Ani's This Bouquet to tide you over until I can ditch this melancholy and enjoy myself. Oh yeah, listen to Ani's really going to help that, loser. Anyway, I love this song so, yeah. (I have trouble finishing sentences. It's a curse.)

got a garden of songs
where i grow all my thoughts
wish i could harvest one or two
for some small talk
seems like i'm starving for words
whenever you're around
nothing on my tongue
and so much in the ground
nothing on my tongue
and so much in the ground
...
if it weren't for my brain
i'd just go over and make friends
too bad about my brain
cuz i'd like to make friends
...
and maybe it's ok
that i am speechless
cuz i picked you this bouquet
yup, sure am speechless
but i picked you this bouquet

<

Last night Jenny informed me that George Martin was not the manager of the Beatles but the producer. How could I have made such a mistake about my own husband. Next she's going to tell me he was really a Mafia crime lord as well.

Which David Bowie are you?

Nice. I'm a good Bowie.

You're a very open and adventurous person, you've been around the block and back several times. Yet, as all people do, you realize that this life style cannot go on forever and need to settle down. Hopefully as more time progresses you'll stick to one gender and not be so greedy! Take The "Which Kevin Smith Female Are You?" Quiz!!

Can I make this very clear? I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! As much as life and my family keeps telling me I am, I am not a lesbian. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Take the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.

I liked this because it says I'm better than you. Also, my good friend Jenny used to have this game she played in her head where we (everyone Jenny knew including people in her classes and strangers on the street) were all in the sixties and had some connection to some sort of musical figure from the sixties. Jenny informed me that I was married to George Martin, the manager of the beatles. This had no effect on me since the only person who knew anything about George Martin, my husband in Jenny's head, was Jenny. She, of course, was married to John Lennon, an ACTUAL Beatle, not just a stupid manager. Perhaps I would have played the game in my head too if my husband didn't SUCK! Perhaps that's why I'll never get married. My first marriage scarred me.

It may be an exhausted sentiment but I miss you. I wish you were here. Why does saying "I wish you were here" feel like such a cliché? It's been said, but it still holds true. I still wish you here, no matter how many times it has been said.

I dislike many of the internets short forms. I hate seeing "How r u?" "lol, brb". I don't mind emoticons. In fact I have a slight fancy for them but I detest the internet slang. If someone random messages me "Hi, how are you?" usually I'll write back but if someone messages me "Hi, how r u?" I'll say something along the lines of "*Click*", indicating that, if this was a conversation on the phone, I would have hung up. Another pet peeve, while I'm on the random chat thing, is when people ask for a "pic" after about four lines of chat. First, it's a short form and I have already explained that I do not enjoy that. Second, whether I'm a good conversationalist or not should not be dependent on how I look. I'm an Ani Difranco fan and she put it best when she said, "I am not a pretty girl, that is not what I do." I am not the sort of girl who is looked upon as pretty by strangers. So, I'm not willing to be judge by some stranger who I know is going to stop talking to me when he finds out how I look. Third, I question the motives of one so eager for a visual. I love not knowing what someone looks like. There is so much mystery. Mystery is such an exciting thing that I can't understand why you would want to get rid of that excitement. Anyway, some would say that my aversion from people who use the "Do u have a pic?" (argh) line is due to the fact that I am "ugly". (First guy who ever asked for my "pic" over the net and got denied very firmly in my usual confrontational style said I must be ugly. I probably would have given it to him if I had a scanner, knew how to do it and if the guy's name wasn't "Ladies love Mike Awk.") Maybe that's true but I would like to believe that it is principles (and I still don't have a scanner.)Anyway, this vent was necessary since I got a lot more random chats since I stopped saying I was from Papua New Guinea. Apparently there is more interest in women in Waterloo than women in Papua New Guinea.

It's strange. I've felt oddly inspired over the break and yet none of it has translated into the written word. Normally, it's an even split between art and lit but this break has been strangely off balance. I've filled pages upon pages in my sketchbook (probably about 25-30 - that's really a lot for you non-visual artists) and only started one poem that needs more polishing than I think I might care to do. Typically, it would be about ten pages in the sketchbook and seven or eight half finished written peices. Right now the single solitary poem is rough at best. Maybe, when I get it finished, I'll let you read it but, for now, the words of others which have struck me in someway will have to suffice. I'll probably post someone elses work in two or three days. Oh, that reminds me, my drama friends, "Who says "suffice" anyway? Like really." Oh, may your mind rot out of your skull, falling out during your many cold, dark nights alone.