I think I liked it better when you didn't understand me at all. Then, I didn't wonder how much you'd figured out.

"Going back after a long time will make you mad because the people you left behind do not like to think of you changed, will treat you as they always did, accuse you of being indifferent, when you are only different." - Jeannette Winterson, Oranges aren't the only fruit

At the beginning of the summer, I read Oranges aren't the only fruit because the other fiction class at school had read it, so I figured I should as well. That quote really struck me then and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to experience that feeling again. Change is inevitable and I realize that but I don't see much change from the girl who left Laurier in the spring, yet I know it's there. I want a return to the way things were. I just hope it hasn't been too long.

If you say you hear voices in your head, is that a cliche?

I'm growing to hate the sound of my own voice. I've always been what other people call "a talker". It's not that I've ever particularly enjoyed the sound of my own voice, but I can't say that I've ever loathed it. The reaon is that the mics at work not only allow me to hear the caller's voice, but my own too. When I'm talking on a normal phone or in person, I hear more of my "head" voice as I'll call it. When I'm on one of the damn Aspect telesets, I hear more of my "heard" voice. That sounds kinda stupid but that was the best I could come up with. My "head" voice is pretty low, as most peoples are, and my "heard" voice is significantly higher. If I had to hear recordings of myself all day it would be different because there is no "head" voice. Instead, they've just thrown off the ratio of "head" voice to "heard" voice. I don't like it. There really is no way to rectify this, other than quit. Oh, wait, DONE! *bitch stops here*.

I was doing some random surfing tonight, which has been quite limited since I came home, and I noticed on one of the stupid sites I came across (it's not getting linked; too stupid) that they had an idea that made me think. It was probably stolen from another site but I can understand why. Name eight positive things that are relatively unrelated.

Positives

1. I'm moving into a house without my parents for the first time.
2. I'm going back to school in two weeks.
3. I have only 6 days left of work.
4. I had pineapple today that wasn't from a can. (Shut up, I love that shit.)
5. Yesterday was Da and Da's twin brother's birthday and I realized that my family really loves each other.
6. I slept in until noon today.
7. I'm almost done Two Towers and I'm so EXCITED!
8. People are excited to see me. (My friends from school have started the emails. It makes me smile.)

Well, that was refreshing now, wasn't it?

Less than two weeks...

I will be terminating my employment with Nextel on September 4th, so I'm going to be sharing the humorous stories I have until then. The gem of an incident I'm about to disclose to you happened to me just yesterday. First, a little background info on my job. I have three things I have to ask a customer when I answer the phone: their mobile number or account number, their name, and how they recieved my number. Once I have pulled up the account, I then have to ask them for their passcode, if there is one. On Sunday, I had a young gentleman call up who could have been no older than 25. He gave me his mobile number, name and told me he had pulled the number out of the yellow pages. I was looking at his account and was just about to ask him his passcode when I decided that I could not in all honesty ask for that particular passcode, when the call was a simple transfer to a division that was closed. I gave him the number for the Customer Care division, he said thank you and we said our good-byes. Now, before I answer the nagging question of passcode, I must make you aware that this young man was friendly, polite and curtious, which made the passcode even stranger. Fuckme27 was his passcode. I swear on my mother redhead that that was the code. I was in such shock. We aren't even allowed to say that on the sales floor. If I said Fuck, it would "result in termination of employment". For the rest of the boring Sunday shift, my friends and I tried to think of what was going through that guys mind when he made that passcode. Was he high or drunk? (People call us like that all the time.) Did he find the sales rep very attractive and thought this may be a comeon? And what was the 27? Was that how many times he thought he should be fucked? Was that his age at the time? He didn't sound much older than 25, but it is possible. Also, how does he answer that? Does he shyly whisper it or does he say it proudly? All I could do was shake my head and chuck at the unfortunate person who has to ask him that. Thankfully, it wasn't absolutely necessary for me.

Check it out, y'all. Shayne set up a blog. Yay!!! Keep it comin', baby, keep it coming! Just as a note, I love that the computer science major asked me, an English major, for assistance in this blogging thing. :) Makes me smile.

I know the cliche is that it is a "double edged sword" but what is the weapon when it is a win-lose situation? Is it a single edged knife cutting a birthday cake, that slips and cuts your hand instead, but once you're bandaged you get a sweet, sweet piece of cake? This whole going back to school thing is a single edged knife in cake. I had to say buh-bye to two dear friends of mine, Kathleen and Margaret last night, as it blew. Margaret I'll see at Christmas because she's only going back to Montreal, but Kat I won't see for a year, because my lovely lady of the ivories is going to Geneva to au pair. I know I'll get to go back to Waterloo soon and there will be sweet, sweet lovin' from my people up North, but right now it's all bandaids and hydrogen peroxide.

See the boys run...

I just want everyone to know that I can't wait for Scarlet's Walk. Yay!! :) It just to bad the new album won't be out in time for my birthday. It would have been the perfect gift. I'll just have to ask for tour tickets for Christmas.

I found this Land of Lego to be mildly amusing. :)

Such a little pot of anger

I'm starting to get a wee bit worried about my hoose next year. I haven't spoken with my flatmates all summer and I don't really know where I stand. I emailed them tonight and hopefully they'll reply tomorrow. I know if any of them emailed me I'd be quick on the return. I'm assuming that they, like myself, are beginning to wonder about things like keys and phone numbers. I have my own phone line so I know that is up to me to arrange but I'm still wondering about keys. If they've been in touch with each other all summer, I'm gonna be pissed. Grrrr....

I don't know what is going on this week but I've just felt like the prefix "un". I kicked it all off with unmotivated, followed by a little unhealthy. Close behind unhealthy was uneasy, with unhappy shuffling in last. It all comes down to too much time and too much anticipation combined with a state of inertia. Perhaps September third will push me along. For now, I must be content with "un".

Things you really don't care to know

1. The Beach is not worth seeing. Yes, it does contain Robert Carlyle, but he's in every other movie I've ever seen, I swear. Yes, it is directed by Danny Boyle the man who did an suitable job of adapting Trainspotting, but see Shallow Grave instead, because at least Shallow Grave is Welsh. Yes, it did contain that heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio, who really can act when he's not being heartthrobby, but he didn't do any of that acting in The Beach. Take those out of consideration and you have a movie with no plot and lots of crappiness. Don't see The Beach. Save yourself what seems like four hours.

2. Today, I was told by a man who was definitely English second language that I had a "hearty laugh". Now, I was flattered, but with a moment of contemplation I began to doubt this compliment. Did he mean that it was full bodied, like a hot cup of dark roast, or too filling, like Granny's Sunday dinners? Would my laugh be better if it were a little lighter, less boisterous? Did he mean that my laugh was boisterous? Should I restrain my laughter a little? Sometimes, I freaking loath compliments.

Important: 3. My name is A - lish - a Normally, when people call into my work they don’t care about me at all. I’m there to help them and I could be a robot for all they care. Those people don’t care whether I have a name or not. This doesn’t bother me. I’m there to help them and if we had a robot smart enough it could do my job. Sometime, we do have customers who will inquire about the voice on the phone. Tonight, I had two very nice customers who were interested in where I was located and what I did. The first woman talked with me about Toronto and asked me if I was there for “Popestock”. Yes, she was a joy to talk to. I think I actually said, “well she was fun” to a co-worker before she hung up. She didn’t call me anything but “honey” and I was happier that way. The next guy was interested in me, too. In the beginning of the call, I had some reason to ask him what time it was in Cali. He asked me where I was located and we got to talking again about Canada. He spoke of the Rocky Mountains, while I elaborated on my local area. When I had finished his extensive order, he finished with “You have a nice night, Aleesha. *click*” I placed my tongue on the roof of my mouth and rubbed. What else could I do? Nothing. He was a nice guy but he ended on a bad note. If I didn’t like this damn name so much, I’d change it in a heart beat. Why the fuck can’t people just listen? Do I pronounce Melonhadinchuck right? YES! Grrrr.... *angry face here*

On bad days, I loath the internet

For two days my side bar was being a little shitface. I apologize for an feelings of perplexity you may have experienced during the viewing of this page. It wasn't wrapping properly on my computer, my parent's computer or the computers at work. I sat down tonight knowing that if it wasn't working I was going to have to rework a template. It kinda made me realize how much work I'd put into this piece of D. All of my stupid links. Also, I would have to change the other pages that link to this (Fun Shite and Quote of the ?) It would have been a motha load of work. As I write this, I'm afraid of posting because it may screw up whatever was fixed and then I would have to change. Here we go. *click*

Post Publish Note: Success!

I feel like.... It's kinda like.... Whenever shit like this happens it's just makes me feel so.... Sometimes I convince myself into thinking that this is a valid forum for my emotions, then I think about how many people who read this are in contact with me enough to wonder about my emotional state. It's not that this isn't a wonderful spot for thoughts and musing but this is not the arena for emotions. There's a lot of shit going down but here is not the place for it. Paper is the place for emotions. Paper can be burned and there is no trace. I can delete these posts but once they are up I have no control. This doesn't mean an end to blogging but a morphing of blogging. If you want to know how my emotions are doing, call me or, if that is to straight forward lishwish@hotmail.com is my email address and I'm on messenger a lot. I'm just tired of presenting how I feel on a silver platter. I've always been more of a barbeque or bonfire kinda gal. ;)

Post publish note: Who am I kidding? I'll continue to share my emotions because it's who I am. I just have to rein them in every once and awhile.

Two Slang Phrases from the Eighties

Most Excellent thing: My bid for the No Doubt Rock Steady album won in the Nextel silent auction. I'm not leaving Nextel having used none of my Nextel dollars. It did take $47 Nextel Dollars to win but they have no monetary value in real money so it doesn't matter. Plus, I was going to buy the album anyway, but now I got it for free. Yay, fun!

Bogus thing: A woman was peeing while placing her phone order today. Now, I know some people are comfortable with doing this, but I am not and I was certainly not comfortable with having her do it. At first, I heard a little trickle and then nothing, so I thought maybe it was a sink or something. Then, came the toilet rush followed by a tap rush. What would possess someone to do that? She may be comfortable with peeing on the phone but I insist that whoever I am talking to is decent and not in the process of necessary body functions. Put me on hold for the two minutes that takes. I really don't mind hold. Just don't pee, bitch. (She was mean as well, which is a bit of an explaination for her inconsiderate behaviour but is another reason to despise her. )

When the winter comes, I'm innocent. Everything seems so old and weak but me. It feels like I'm the youngest being in the world of white. April comes and I lose my innocence again. The new life around me makes me feel the ache in my muscles as the flowers bloom and the trees turn green again. With every passing year, I feel the loss more and the gain less. I anticipate the fall more every year and, with the fall, I'm reminded that I am in fact not younger, but another year older.