Or perhaps it's the voices inside me....

Constantly, I give God reponses to what I say. I was just sitting at my computer, looking at a webpage, when I thought "Oh God, not this again." God responded with an "Oh, probably." I know anthropomorphizing is when something is given human characteristics but what is it called when something is given my voice? Is there a name for that? I really don't think that God would say "Shit, Lish, that blows" but in my head that is what God says. Is that blasphemy? I guess it's kinda the same as when I call God "Man" in my prayers at church and stuff. I don't think God has a problem with slang but I guess it is possible that God is like Henry Higgens and believes that everyone should speak perfect Queen's English.

I'm doing the happy dance

I'm getting DSL, bitches!! I finally talked my parents into it. After a year of mild insistence and a month of daily "Here are eight more reasons why dial-up licks my balls", they finally caved. I'm getting the high speed as of June 6th and I'm gonna love it. I just wanted to make you fester like a dream defered in envy. Oh, yes, commit that deadly sin because you can't have what I've got. Bitch. (I'm sorry, guys. I got kinda excited.) :-)

By the way, you can in fact get tickets at Coffee Lodge but my conspirator-in-chief, Kathleen Lynch, hasn't actually delivered the tickets yet, but I'm informed that she is doing so soon.

Amnesty Benefit Concert Update

The concert is on June 15th and the gates open at 5:30 but the first band is starting at 5:45. Tickets are $7 at the door and $5 in advance from any member of Amnesty or at Blackwater Cheeky Monkey and possibly the coffee lodge. Freaky Leo hasn't totally confirmed yet, just as some of our artists *ahem*st. helen's alumni*ahem* haven't confirmed yet. *ahem* shaw are you playing or what?*ahem* Should be a good show and I'll post the line up as soon as all the artist's are confirmed *ahem* SHAW *ahem* ;) It's five bucks for a great cause and last year we made over a thousand so give us your money so we can top that.

I get a kind of strange pleasure out of writing blog comments and then deleting them. Sometimes, I write to strangers and then linger over the send button for a second before I close the comment window. It's almost like I'm stopping the rollercoaster right before I go over the top and start the descent. It's all anticipation.

I've been writing and sending my blogs on my parent's computer but sometimes I'll write blogs on my computer for later posting but I'm too lazy to put them on a disk and transfer them to this computer. Just for interests sake here is a couple of titles:

Where my brain goes at night

When I smile and frown at the same time

I hate driving when the snakes are out

"Why Alysia's Not Getting Married" Reason #36: Alysia will never be referred to as "the wife". (See Reason #2: Alysia will never be a possession.) Two people on the phone today called their wives "the wife". If I get married, which is doubtful, and my husband ever calls me "the wife", I'm out the door. It is like the woman is in the same category as "the dog" or "the cat". She isn't your pet; she is your wife, your equal. This got me thinking about forever which is what I really wanted to regurgitate about.

Is there really anything wrong with wanting "forever"? Over time, I've come across many quotations that have questioned "forever" and the pursuit of that ideal thing that lasts eternally, whether it be love or something like it. I would scoff at the people who would swear their "forever"s and then forget a few months later that the "forever" was ever there. If I never swear "forever" does that make me any better than those who have sworn and lost it? I did think so. Now I think I'm the one missing out on that elation that comes from a confession of "forever". Who cares if the "forever" last? Perhaps it will, but if it doesn't at least it was felt and was tangible if only for a moment. I think I've taken this "No day but today" mantra a little too far. Sometimes, I think I have to hope that a "forever" will last until tomorrow.

A Warning I should have posted three days ago

If you see the name "Vector Marketing" beware. It is selling knives by presentation. If you are looking for a job online and you see the name Vector Canada or Vector Marketing, don't apply. If you do apply, realize that I will be forced to pester you for weeks about coming in for an interview till you snap and say "I don't want to sell f**kin' knives!" I'm a receptionist at Vector and I don't want to have to pester you or make you come in to do an hour and a half long interview. Unfortunately, a friend did apply online and had to go through the whole interview process and I'm hoping that he'll speak to me again but if he doesn't I'll understand. Please realize that if you call on the phone to ask about the job I can give it to you straight up, but if you apply online the other receptionist deals with you first, so there is nothing I can do. The crappy thing is that I have "stats" I have to live up to but if you call I don't have to put you down under the stats but I do for Internet applications. Also, my boss can hear everything I say so if I realize that you are a friend I may just pretend that you are calling to say hi. Let me know if you want to go through the interview process because some people do well at this crazy knife thing.

Who dreams of houses anyway?

I had a liquid dream last night. It was one of those dreams where I almost feel like I'm looking out of a floating fish bowl but less blurry. The dream really didn't have a point. It was just me getting a view of my old house. I've only lived in two houses with my family and the last one was for 13 years. It was a beautiful Tudor house of about a hundred years in age. The dream started at the top of my house in the bedrooms and went down to the main floor. Though it was blurry, I could still remember in stark detail exactly how the house looked, until I got to the den. I could remember most of how the den looked except for the window in the den that looked on the pool. It was as though that was the only thing that was blurred in my memory as well as in my vision. I realized that when I woke up in the morning I still couldn't remember how that window looked. I asked my sister and, after her talking about how much she used to love watching Baywatch in the den (freak), she realized that it was blurry for her, too. Everything else was crystal clear but that window was a blur. It's strange how you can only be gone from a place you knew for almost three quarters of your life for five years and it begins to fade in the strangest ways.

If you're at the movie store and searching for something to watch, check out Run Lola, Run. I've been wanting to see the film for about a year now and I finally watched it last night. It's a fresh look on the old subject of timing. Basically the plot is that Lola's boyfriend Manni is making her bring him 100 000 mark in 20 minutes and, through a series of different chances, it ends different ways. If you're thinking "Sliding Doors" that Gwynth Paltrow film, think something else because it isn't like that. I saw Sliding Doors and this is quite different. I found Run Lola, Run to be quite an engaging film. Some of the people I was watching it with didn't find it so engaging but I would suggest it to anyone.

You'd think in this time off I'd have more to say but it just doesn't seem so. I'm sorry for the lack of effort in the blogs lately. It's just that with work and friends, I don't seem to be near my computer as much, so that when I find something to blog about it gets put into conversation instead of put on...this. Occasionally I'll find the inspiration to write but right now inspiration is on holiday in a remote cabin in Alaska and I can't seem to get a hold of it.

A word to all the musicians reading this tonight...

Well, it's about the time of year. The Amnesty International Benefit concert is less than a month away and as it turns out those crazy kids at Northern are actually those lazy kids at Northern. They've booked the Dow People Place for June 15th but haven't booked any acts. Oh me, oh my!! They have also changed organization and Kathleen Lynch, one of the two main organizers from last year is now in charge. Miss Lynch asked me if I would mind sending a big "wud up" to all the musicians I know and ask them if they'd like to play this year. Last year's line up was so steller that Kathleen, and all of us envolved in the concert, would like to match that, if not surpass it. So, if you want to play you can email Kathleen at kalynch@canada.com or, if you're a little hesitant to do that, you can contact me at lishwish@hotmail.com. I have like 8 email addresses but that's the one I use the most. The original organizers were going to have auditions but I believe that Miss Lynch is not going to go that route. She is looking for a wide selection of styles, so if you sing opera, play a juice-harp or perhaps even have a band, although I don't know who does that now a days, give us a shout. We'd be happy to hook a brother/sister up. :)
I'll be posting again when the concert is nearer because even if you can't play we'd love to see your faces leering out at us.

I honesty don't know where this came from

In my mind there are two kinds of bloggers: the anonymous bloggers and the community bloggers. Those are my terms and I really don't know how applicable they are but I'll try to explain. Anonymous bloggers are not anonymous themselves. They leave the people around them out of their blogs. I wouldn't see my name in an anonymous bloggers blog because they are keeping a sense of mystery about their surrounding life. Their blogs are less like a "look who I knew" biography and more like a "this was my life as I lived it" biography. I am a community blogger. I will put the names of the people I know down on these pages. Unfortunately, but predictably, my bio is a bit "look who I know". I call it community blogging because community is the people you know. Of course, no person is totally one or the other. It's just that some lean more to one side than others.

I found my Jill Scott CD. It was in my art toolbox. Turns out that when I was adding the supplies I took to school to the supplies I left at home, I knocked the CD into the box and I didn't find it until I was getting out my pastels today to do a little art after supper. ;) I was so happy I did the dance of joy. Di-di-di-di-DA-di-duh-duh-duh-Di HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! "I love you, cosin Laaaarry."

I think I lost my Jill Scott CDs. I also think I'm going to cry because of this. I really had a hankering to hear "Love Rain Down" this morning and I search everywhere for the fucker and it is nowhere to be found. There is nothing worse than an unsatisfied music lust.

Proof reading your emails is a good thing. Bad grammar I can forgive because it is loathed by most, but there is no reason why spelling can't be near perfect, if not perfect. The easiest thing to do is type an email up in a word processor, like Works or Word, and use the spell checker. All that follows is a "copy" and "paste". Spelling mistakes in personal emails are definitely a pet peeve of myne. ;) (By the way, I don't take my own advice. Few of my blogs are typed in a word processor. I'm trying not to become dependent on the spell checker.)

Like a high schooler calling in sick

Okay, so I started a new job on Thursday and it's been kinda of interesting, to say the least. Most of it I have to tell in person but some of my toolness can be translated into the written word. So, I'm a receptionist at Vector Marketing, which is a company that sells "housewares and a few select sporting items", which translates into knives and fishing/hunting knives. If any of you have seen the ad in the paper that says something along the lines of "College/Univ. Students. $18.05 / base appt." that's where I work. It's not a bad job but I must say I'm glad I'm the receptionist and not one of the sales reps. Anyway, yesterday was my first real day on the job and I had to come in early because the other receptionist wasn't able to talk, which is a vital activity when it's all you do. Cynthia, or Cindy, wanted me to check the references of the people who are currently in the training session and then once I was done with that call the people that the trainees thought might want jobs. One of the trainees had put down two people at the same number. I didn't realize this until after I called the first person, the wife of the husband/wife team. After I got off the phone I said "Oh crap" to Cynthia and told her that I was going to have to call back the same number. I thought, in a fit of stupidity, that it would be a good idea if I lowered my voice to call the man. He wasn't home and I said I would call back later, so I thought I was safe, until he called me back. Thing is, I didn't leave a number. Turns out that the husband and wife have caller id. The wife knew I was the same person who had just lowered my voice. Cynthia and I had a good "chuckle" over that one. I really fooled no one and the guy and girl both skipped out on the interviews. I don't have the balls to call them back. Just a small picture of my Tooldom. *smack* Idiot.

Guys, I think I'm going to take a break for a while. It's not permenant, and I'm not going to close the site like Mr. Swift. I just don't feel I can be honest at all any more. In this summer of self-improvement, I'm going to try and recapture the honesty I've always prided myself on and I can't do that here. When I feel as though I can blog about something fully and honestly, then you'll know. Until, then this isn't a good bye, just a fare well.
Much love,
Alysia :Þ·:.
P.S. Fare in Italian is to do, to make. Just thought you'd like to know. :)

Often, after I've driven everyone home and I'm two minutes from my house, the perfect song will come on my car radio. Not the most perfect song ever but the most perfect song for the moment, so I'll want it to finish just as I'm pulling in the driveway, but often the song is longer than two minutes so I'll drive out of my way. Most of the time I'll time it just right so that it finishes as I'm turning of the car, but sometimes I over shoot the length of the song. When this happens, what do I do? Do I let the next song play or do I sit in silence, letting the last chord of that perfect song play in my head? Sometimes the sounds in my head are all I need for those last few seconds home, if those sounds are perfection.

Tim Horton's is in cohorts with the Devil

The Devil tries to destroy all that is good in the world and so does Tim Horton's. Pedro's is officially closed my friends. The only real coffee house by my house has gone under, due to its loss of $3000 a month to the brand new Tim Hortons. If you are ever in Sarnia and on Colburne Road, do not go to the Tim Horton's on the corner of Colburne and Cathcart! Pedro's was awesome. It was everything that Tim Horton's will never be. "Goddamn youse. Damn youse all to HELL!!"

And today I write like no one reads this....

But yesterday I just got tired of my hair...

I used to give my hair
the treatment I wanted to give him.
I’d change its colour
Its shape
In an attempt to change me.

I do not need
the change of hue and style.

This time my hair is staying
Its wild wild wild same
Because I realize
It’s not me who need the change
Of shape
And colour.

Get back to where you once belonged...

Just got back from a good time in Toronto. Really isn't much to say about that other than I've known my friend Shayne for five years and I just finally realized how fuckin' smart the kid is. Maybe I should shut my mouth and listen for a bit, then I might realize just how amazing my friends really are (and you all are amazing).

Gotta give a big shout out to Sean from Breaker High, who is now in Murder by Numbers, which is a crappy movie which has nothing to do with numbers at all. I know why it's titled what it is, but that doesn't mean it's not a stupid title. I freakin' LOVE Breaker High. "Note to self: you're beautiful baby, yeah." Also gotta give a big shout out to Tommy Gnosis from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, who is also in Murder by Numbers. Yo, Tommy, you was the bomb in Hedwig. Murder by Numbers was a crap, crap, crappy movie but those two actually did fairly decent jobs in it.

Let me just say that staples are better than stitches. They don't hurt half as much going in or coming out. I never have the choice of which I'd rather have but if I did I'd pick staples and so should you. Staples: the only way to close your open head wounds.