If only I wasn't stupid

Okay, I seem to have a real problem with this whole "Hello" thing. It's seems like no matter how much I try there are some people I can't seem to say hello to. Here. I'll say it here. Hey, Dave. Hey, Demarco. Fuck. Why can I not say "hi"? It's not so difficult. A cough takes more work. Yet I seem to constantly have this problem. I seem to have this problem so frequently that it REALLY upsets me. It happens all the time at school. I'll have people in my classes that I can chat to in class but the second that setting is tampered with I'm fucked. Like tonight. I went out for coffee with Jen and Wade and Wade's friend Melissa who is dating this fellow named Ryan who is friends with Dave Puzak and Matt Demarco. Now, normally if I were to see Demarco and Puzak I would be with my best friend Matt Swift. I would feel a bit awkward but not tremendously so. I might even go past a simple hello and actually talk to them. Yet, tonight I couldn't even muster a simple greeting. I hate this. It really fucking pisses me off.

I played BINGO for the first time tonight. At first it kinda sucked but I think that was because my friends and I were taking it too seriously. It's fuckin' BINGO, guys. Okay, some of the pots are in the thousands but those are the best times to fuck around. People are getting too serious because there is so much at stake. Lighten up!! So many people walk away losers in that game. Why not join the herd with a bit of fun? Just a thought.

I realized that when I'm home I want to write every little thing I do on the page. My life has no routine when I'm home so it's as if everything is exciting and different, even though I'm doing the same things I've done for the past five years, with a few new things thrown in here and there. You guys really don't want to hear about that mundane, day to day shit. I really don't think you want to hear any of my shit, but I post it anyway. I guess if you didn't like it you probably wouldn't be here reading this right now, would you? Hey Alysia, cut that self doubt bullshit out, will ya? For real.