Sometimes I wish I had a really opinionated webpage, so I could get thousands of pieces of badly written hate mail. I’ve always hated those instant chat short forms, like “lol” or “u r” instead of “you are” or “brb” instead of “be right back“. The “brb” constantly messed me up because I thought of “rbr”, Righteous Babe Records, Ani’s record label. I would always ask “What about rbr? Do they have a job opening? Are they opening a Canadian office like they just opened the office in London? What? What?” All over a stupid short for that could have been avoided if someone just took the micro-second it takes to type out the full form. The typing speed of a person who regularly uses an instant chat program is typically quite high, so is the acronym really necessary? For the longest time, I couldn’t understand my sister when we talked on any instant chat program, because she never typed the full word. That kind of hate mail is the kind I want to get. I want hate mail with all the words spelled incorrectly, where the only punctuation is a period, and they never have capitals, especially not when referring to themselves as “I”. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the heart to offend enough people to get hate mail with horrendous grammar. The only people I might offend are the people I would deam friends, and I find my friends possess respectable, if not admirable, intelligence, so I think if they were to compose a bitter letter for me via electronic mail, they would at least run it through a spell check first. They should charge 50 cents every time you send a crappy email. It costs 50 cents to send a normal letter so why not an email? It might get people to use the damn spellchecker.

Note: I know I’m not perfect, so there are probably errors in here. I wrote two finals today in Italian and Classics. I’ve been thinking in foreign languages all day. Forgive me, please.