Over-Compensating For What I'm Not Complete Without

I'm not sure if anyone else does this or if I'm alone here, but I'm going to share with you. Some people that I know see a beautiful person and try to bring themselves closer to that image. They'll go to the gym or buy the same shade of lipstick. They'll buy that shirt or wear their hair that way. Me: I see a beautiful person and I want to stop what I'm doing and read a really good book. I carry a book around in my purse for that reason. I know I'll never have that kind of physical beauty, so why try so hard? I guess I figure if I can make my brain beautiful enough it will give me the kind of beauty that I lack. I hope to overpower my ugh with shear brain-power. Some days I feel it working, like when someone says they've always wanted to talk to me but I was just "too smart". That's a "too beautiful" reaction. (He was smarter than me; I just talk more. ;)) Maybe that slice of intelligence translates into confidence for me, and confidence is often equated with beauty. If you can look at beauty like a mirror, I envy you. I should mention that it isn't just human beauty that I do that with, but ads throw the highly sexualized human form in our faces, and I'm addicted to media. But if I see a beautiful tree, I have to go read. It's a good thing I see beauty in just about everything. I'd be quite the idiot if I didn't. *sticks face in Waiting for Godot*