Congratulations, Cat and Mike!

So, my good friends Cat and Mike got married today. I don't know if you're like me, 20 with no plans for wedlock, but this shit is fuckin' with my head. I'm happy for them, because I think they're both flippin' fantastic people, but it's strange. My date was my good friend Davey, and we both were a little mistified because this was the first time either of us had ever been to a wedding without our parents. (40 years ago and we would probably be wed by now.) It's a combination of the way I see marriage and the way I see my friends that is causing this turbulance. You don't have to agree with me, but I see marriage as a means of control, bondage for life. I also see my friends as free spirits, free thinkers. I just can't understand marriage, but of course I run from my partners after 3 months. I get scared. My friend Jen was saying that she missed her boyfriend when we were at the wedding, and I was like, "right there. I'd be at the phone, saying 'Thanks, but no.' That would scare the shit out of me. " I never planned my wedding dress, picked out 'the perfect song', thought about when, where, who, just why usually followed by 'the fuck would I want to?' I hung out with cynics for too long. Much of my belief has been eroded by statements like my marriage sentiments: why the fuck bother. Guess it's just not a fight I want to have.