A Righteous Woman...

Since I heard The Constantines' "On To You" it's been one of my "repeat songs", the ones I can listen to on repeat for hours. It's always kind of perplexed me that I can listen to it so much, but I think I've figured it out. I've always wanted to be the "righteous woman" he knows in that song, yet I have felt like I fall short. Now, I think I can stop; I think I've become the "righteous woman". Lately, I've been feeling like I can actually do things. I got into teacher's college; I got named "Dictator of the year";) and I did the orgasm monologue for the Vagina Monologues. Last year, I would not have thought myself capable of any of these things. It's the monologue that really did it. I have enough confidence in my intelligence and convictions to know that there was a possibility that I could get into teacher's college and be a fine enough director, but the orgasm monologue? I didn't think I had enough eggs to do that one. It is a very sexy monologue and I've never seen myself as particularly sexy. I don't like to do things I can't do well, so I never would have attempted that if it wasn't for the insisting of the director and producer. Before every show, I needed a lot of encouragement from the cast and producer (and they were brilliant about giving it. Thank you, my friends.) Nerves plagueme before any performance I give, but with the Vaginas, it was triple. Yet, I did it and, if I am to take the words of my friends and a few strangers, did it well. Tonight, a quasi-confident woman got on stage, a righteous woman got off. (In more ways than one, know what I'm saying? Awww shit...)

A friend said to me recently that confidence is the hottest accessory. I am going to be wearing out my "righteous woman" status like my favourite pair of kicks.

(Note: I am interpreting "righteous" in the 80s sense of the word, not the religious sense. I understand that The Constantines mean it to have that double meaning, but fuck it. I'm "righteous" like Bill and Ted. Excellent.)