What Alysia wants

I want freedom. Not just freedom from my parents or responsibily but a bit of freedom from myself. From my shining insecurities that make me wonder if the people I know love me even like me. I even wonder as I'm typing it if they indeed do love me or just love picking out my fault which seem so numerous that to even attempt to catalog them would be on the scale of cataloging badly written songs through the centuries. It simply can't be done.

I want freedom from wondering if I'm any good at anything. I can't take complements. I would like to be able to have someone say they enjoyed ... Shit I'm being Narcissistic.

Try this test see how neurotic you are. Personality Disorder Test I'm highly Schizotypal and Histrionic which means that people have trouble following what I talk about while I'm needing them to accept me. Shit, anybody who ever read this bullshit could tell you that.

P.S. That ... above was about a half hour dot dot dot. I took a break and realized that I should shut up bu I sort of don't want to do any deleting. I'm tired of editing so I'm just going to leave it.