Hitting Trees on the Walk to School

When I first started this blog, I told anyone who was reading at the time (which was no one) that I would be talking about myself, as that is the only thing I can write about with any conviction. Over time I've branched out, but I always return to my initial promise of a narcist's exercise in blogging. By the insistance of Shayne's car, which has felt the stench and stains of this habit every time I get in his frickin' car (I don't do it on purpose; I'm just a klutz.), I have given you one of the reasons I drink so much coffee: my last lingering addiction. The other reason, like anything, takes a bit of preface. My Aunt Fred once described "coffee as earth and tea as heaven". (Things that have been said by others seem to stick if they're said by loved ones. Acquiantance holds pencils, whereas Love has Sharpies.) I don't drink a lot of tea for the simple fact that I have trouble staying grounded. I have what I like to call "spells". They stem from my nasty habit of forgetting to breath. How does this effect your coffee habit? Good question. First of all, coffee contains caffeine, which gets my heart going, causing me to need an increase of oxygen. (By the way, I've never seen a doctor about these "spells", because most people just attribute it to my scattered personality so it goes unnoticed. Fooling the system with oddities. Yes!) Therefore, I won't forget to breathe if I drink coffee. Next, these "spells" make everything seem like a dream state. No, they aren't seizures because they don't happen enough and don't have the proper accompanying symptoms. I need the grounding effects of coffee. I need something to make me feel like I'm alive and breathing. Everyone gets this when they're too tired or too stressed or too beaten by life. Perhaps I should just become accustomed to a constant state of the overpoweringly surreal, but I want the experience too much to just allow myself to give in. Everyonce and awhile I'll surrender to the surreal, but most of the time, medium dark roast, one cream, one sugar or just give it to me black and bitter.